How can you be more resilient during the COVID Crisis?
The pandemic has been extremely challenging for many people, stretching their ability to cope and threatening to impact on their mental health. Having no finish line in sight adds to the sense of insecurity and uncertainty. We are living through a time that has so utterly changed our lives, and our brains are trying to make sense of all that is happening. In circumstances like these, knowing how to be resilient and navigate through all of this becomes extremely important.
Resilience is a complex concept. It can be helpful to visualise resilience as a set of tools that you can use to navigate your way through a hazardous path, or that can help you get back up if you’re knocked down. If you think of yourself as having a resilience backpack containing these tools, then you will appreciate the importance of knowing what the tools are for, and ensuring you know how to use them.
Let’s consider some of the tools and techniques that should be in your resilience backpack.
Ground yourself
This is a technique that helps to diffuse anxiety and resist the tendency to think the worst. Essentially you focus on becoming aware of your own senses, your smell, your sight, your hearing, your taste, instead of focusing on your anxious thoughts and anxious feelings. You focus on the here and now and how your body is feeling. It is a great calming technique.
Relaxing and breathing
Deep breathing can help reduce anxiety, relax muscles, and calm nerves. Think of breathing as being like other activities that use specific muscles and can be perfected with practice – like, for example, playing the piano. The more you practice deep breathing, the better you get and the more benefit you can extract from it.
Face up to negative thoughts
While some of your resilience tools are designed to help you free your mind of negative thoughts, it is also important to spend some time consciously facing up to these thoughts. It might seem very challenging but facing up to negative thoughts rather than completely avoiding them is far more effective in terms of coping. When we hide from negative thoughts, they are still affecting us and can gradually undermine our functioning. Ask yourself some questions:
- “why am I feeling this way?”
- “can I sit with these thoughts for a while?”
- “are these feelings and thoughts justified?”
Being analytical in answering questions like these can help bring about a different perspective and perhaps diffuse some of the anxieties that they foster.
Think about how you are coping
There can be a tendency to punish ourselves when we are feeling down. This can take the form of eating foods that make us feel unwell, or holing up indoors and denying ourselves fresh air. There is little benefit in behaving in ways that work against you and then wondering why you are unhappy. Ask yourself what is best for me at this time? Is it excessively eating and drinking, or will cutting back actually make me feel better and therefore better able to cope. Is it not having a good sleep routine? Is there a better and healthier way that will help me cope during this pandemic?
Manage your expectations
The worse phrases in the English language are ‘I should have’ and ‘I can’t’. They are words to beat yourself up with. For example, ‘I should be coping better with this crisis’ or ‘I should be getting on with my family while I am seeing more of them’, or ‘I should have advanced in my career by now’. Sometimes we need to adjust our expectations and adopt more realistic ones with a view to finding ways to achieve our goals. This does not mean that we lower our expectations to the point of not doing anything at all in our lives, but if our starting point is a losing one then we do not move forward.
Avoid obsessiveness
If you find yourself constantly reading and talking about the pandemic, or issues relating to it, make a a conscious effort to distract yourself. Do something that will require some concentration on your part. Avoid obsessively checking media reports which can only intensify anxiety.
Dip into nature
Green therapy provides a way to raise our spirits and take us away from problems that are worrying us. If you have a garden, consider some planting or maybe even landscaping things a little differently. Take walks in any parkland, coastal routes, or wooded areas that you have access to.
Try something new
Now this is the time to try something new, something you have wanted to do but never had time to do before. Perhaps try cooking a gourmet meal, see if you can get a letter or poem published by a newspaper, try some painting or take up a musical instrument. It’s an opportunity to discover skills and talents that you never knew you had.
Relationships
Make your relationships a priority. If you are suffering anxiety then seek support from those close to you. Confide in them and let them know if you are struggling. Ask for their comfort and support. Pushing them away can damage relationships and not give them the opportunity to help.
And finally….
Remember that it is normal to feel worried and anxious during an unprecedented time like this. Normal life presents enough twists and turns but now we are facing a unique challenge. Take some comfort from the fact that we’re all in it together. Pack some of these tools into your backpack and you will emerge a more resilient person.
Susan Lindsay 